Qualified. Interviewed. Rejected. Why?
They told me I was the most qualified for the job but they didn’t hire me. Why?
The One Secret to Interview Success
Chances are you missed the one secret ingredient to interview success.
What happened? Or didn’t?
Have you noticed some people have a knack for connecting? They always seem to be heard in meetings, liked by their peers, subordinates and bosses. And, they always seem to land the job of their dreams. You want to hate them, but they’re just so darned likeable. Is their secret sauce really such a secret? Maybe they’ve mastered “Rapport.” Good news! It is a skill that can be learned.
What is rapport?
The word rapport derives from the French verb rapporter, translated as “to return or bring back”. The English dictionary definition is “a sympathetic relationship or understanding.”
Rapport is the connection between two people, the spoken and unspoken words that say “we’re on the same page.” You know you’ve established rapport when you engage comfortably with someone.
With true rapport you can successfully connect with anyone, anywhere, regardless of age, gender, ethnic background, mood or situation.
Why build rapport?
This skill is never more important than in an interview where the interviewer’s immediate positive impression of you is essential. It doesn’t matter what industry you’re in or what position you hold – knowing how to build rapport can bring you countless opportunities. Once you’ve established rapport, they will want to help you – even if you don’t get the job.
How to build rapport with anyone quickly!*
1. Stay in the same body position as they do.
(ex. Are they leaning back, feet outstretched and spread apart? Or do they sit up straight at the edge of their chair?)
2. Match their gestures in a similar way.
(ex. What are their hand gestures? What is their eye contact? Are their facial expressions expressive or flat?)
3. Match their tone of speaking.
(ex. Are they soft-spoken or loud? Variable or monotone?)
4. Match their speed of speaking.
(ex. Are they fast and enthusiastic or slow and relaxed, with lots of pauses?)
5. Use their same choice of words if possible.
(ex. Creativity or problem solving? Opportunity or challenge?)
6. Match their breathing with yours if possible.
(ex. Long, deliberate and deep, fast and furious?)
7. Listen for their values and emulate them in your speech and actions back to them.
(ex. Do they stress flexibility or sticking with the plan?
*List courtesy of master rapport-builder and professional trainer Thomas Caddy.
Job interview rapport building tips.
• Your First Impression. You have a fraction of a second to make your first impression (for more pre-interview prep tips on this, click here). Focus on your appearance. How you dress is a key component to making a great first impression and to building rapport. Learn as much as you can about the company dress code before the interview and dress accordingly. Your handshake, eye contact, smile and body posture all contribute to a positive first impression and to the establishment of rapport. If you look and act like you already belong there, the subtle, unspoken process of building rapport will have begun.
• Research the company and industry for news and current events. Being familiar with and asking questions about the company and industry’s current events are topics will help you build rapport. Your sincere interest in the company showcases a commonality with the interviewer. More in common = the more they will like you = more rapport.
• Meaningful Small talk counts. Rapport is all about finding alignment or common ground, claims Ronnie Noize, The Marketing Coach. “Both introverts and extroverts can build rapport; they just tend to do it differently. Extroverts may tend to rely on small talk to build rapport. Introverts, who generally shy away from small talk, may rely more on asking questions, listening carefully then responding.” Checking out the interview panel’s LinkedIn profiles and Googling will help you to find common ground (interests, hobbies, educational background, etc.). Opening and closing your interviews with common ground helps establish a stronger bond and rapport.

Of course the purpose of the interview is to determine if your skills and experience are a match for the open position. Interviewers are still people, and people like to hire people that they like. Focusing on building rapport with your interviewer or interview panel ensures you will be heard. It is your one secret to interview success.
Posted by one of my successful clients
Connie Dorigan, CPC
Dorigan + Associates
The Top Talent Recruiters
503-635-8565 work
Private Cell 503-888-2965

You are at the end of your presentation and you ask them to buy and they look at the amount it costs and start to get cold feet.  Probably saying that’s a lot of money.  The solution to this problem starts farther back in the qualification process.  Let say you know that your product or service is $1,000.00.  After you build rapport you begin to ask your prospect about other things they have bought for around $1,000.00 or more in the past.  Get them to fill you in on the details of how they went about making the decision to spend the money and how they justified the cost.  Once you write down the answers to these questions, then you can use these answers to get them to justify spending $1,000.00 on your product or service.  Customers will always make decisions today the same as they have done in the past.  Don’t attempt to change their decision making with your views.  Use their own against them and close your deals easier and faster.

When I go out to call on prospects, some seem to have a habit of putting things off till later.  They say things like call me back in 90 days.  I f they took action on my training programs in 90 days their sales would increase by 75% at least.  Pushing your success down the road is alot like a girl wanting to kiss you and you say lets wait for 90 days I’m not ready.

Change your life and start saying yes to getting things done right away.  Embrace changes and develop a written plan of action.

Here it is the start of January 2014 and many of you might be jotting down their goals for this year.  This is a great time to review the goals you set for last year and notice which ones you didn’t accomplish!  Maybe the reason for this was you are writing down something on paper without visualizing and seeing yourself doing it.  If you have this in your body, looking out thru your eyes view, this would bring up the voices in your head that are urging you on or telling you why it won’t work for you.

At this point, you can use some of the tools I teach in The Caddy Method course to erase the limiting voices and beliefs or you can try and keep visualizing in the hope that your unconscious mind will accept them and draw it to you.  Much better to change your limiting beliefs and negative self talk if you are going to accomplish your stretch goals.  Also, smart to install the new movies in your head in that special place called your true frame so they run automatically.

For more information on how to do this order The Caddy Method course and learn to easily do this for yourself.


There are alot of training programs out now that give you insights into gaining rapport with another person.  It’s alot like going on a coffee date then not closing for the next one.  There are people that can be closed just from building rapport with them.  They represent about 20% of your prospects.  Closing the deal involves building a movie of ownership with the prospect involved in it.  You need to know how they bought before, who was involved, how long did it take them to go ahead.  Finally, to start closing your deals in 4 sentences with the prospects own words, you need to ask them questions that get them to re elicit how specifically they made a decision like this in the past.  See my article on Eliciting Your prospects Decision Making Order on my website for further details.  As you build this movie of them owning your product or service, you have to get excited and use descriptive words, like a romance novel to get them dreaming about already owning.

First, don’t bother to build rapport jump right in an dominate the conversation.  After that, don’t bother to ask questions because they might actually give you the information needed to close the sale.  Don’t bother to see if they have a need or interest for your product or service just give them all the facts so they can make a logical decision!

Or, build excellent rapport, establish if they have a need for your product or service.  Is the timing right to take action?  Do they have to funds to make the purchase if they decide to go ahead?  What specifically did they do last time they bought?  Who was involved and how long did it take?  If they don’t take action what will happen specifically?  Once you know the order they made the decision last time, use the same words in the same order to make it easier to buy today!

Dream building is the essence of selling. There are still some people who think selling is loading you up with facts, then when that doesn’t work they close harder and pressure you. There is no one more deadly at closing than a small child, who can work your emotions and get you to do what they want! Stop selling facts and start selling dreams of ownership!

There is always a rush to do it at the last minute, then when it doesn’t get done to verbally beat yourself up!

Deep down these people run on fear of failure and making mistakes.  So, rather than starting out early and doing little steps at a time, they are imagining the result not working and so don’t get started to avoid the pain of the mistakes or not doing it right.  The solution is to imagine the task or goal as having been already done.  When you look back on something you have already accomplished, then it is much less scary.

Ok, your bosses have a script that the company has been using for years.  You just started with the company in sales and they want you to use it.   You start using it and notice that your getting a lot of rejection.  Now What?  First, if you have been reading my other blog articles, you will realize that 75% of the prospects you are talking to don’t act or speak like you do.  In order for them to make sense out of your script, you need to first build rapport with them in their communication style and them customize the script with the trigger words that match their communication style.  Having great rapport with them causes them to listen and be more open with you, so you probably won’t need much of the script anyway.


I have noticed some people who are task with the process of making sales happen, do everything they can to avoid the process.  They won’t listen to a cd or read a book on selling,  they go out into the world of prospects and keep making the same mistakes over and over again.  They won’t spend money or time to improve themselves, hoping their companies will give it all to them.  I am reminded of world class golfers that always are searching for the latest technique or club or tip to give them the edge, they also have a coach that helps them with the fine points. 

To earn to title of professional salesperson, requires you study and learn from others and constantly refine your tactics.  Otherwise you are just an order taker!  Which one do you choice to become?